Is this the story of your life? or...does this remind you of someone you love?
In our family, this is just everyday stuff and it ebbs and flows with intensity, but its always present to some degree. From my perspective, the hardest part of living with this "gift of disorder" is fighting the constant disappointment we can feel in ourselves, and that which we cause others to feel towards us...which is why it's so important to do things to build our discipline, self esteem and confidence. It's not just about attention and focus issues...or about being hyper and unable to sit still, its not just about the squirrels that constantly lead us down rabbit holes. No, It interferes with jobs, relationships, memory, and something else I think but I got distracted for a few minutes and now I forget. Our forgetfulness can come across as a lack of caring, but NOTHING could be further from the truth. In fact, we have so much going on in our brains and we are back and forth between so many fires that our hearts are almost always throbbing with empathy, regret and on a positive note, also gratitude. We are emotional creatures...how could we not be? We believe we can help everyone and still have something left over to give to ourselves...and we are reminded daily that we aren't enough. That merely scratches the surface of the challenges, but the blessings are endless too. It's about awareness and channeling the creativity when it hits hard...we NEED to have outlets that constantly challenge us, drive us forward so we don't get caught up in our past, our shortcomings, the things we cant go back and fix after we've impulsively done something foolish or let someone down. We throw ourselves into these things, and when we do, we feel passion and nostalgia...we are for a moment or if were lucky several, confident, brave, bulletproof and hyper-focused. There's also the feeling of invincibility and an endless sense of humour that most people won't understand, and that's perfectly fine with us, because everything we do is for our own entertainment. Ill probably come back to this, but I suddenly forget where I was going with it, because I started giggling about something ridiculous I did yesterday.
.
Oh yes, the blessings...We have so many incredible humans in our lives because we long to know them all, we crave connection with an abundance of people we meet...however we don't necessarily like them all. In fact, one of the best things about being married to another Disorderly is that one of our seemingly favourite things to do together is talk about how ridiculous other people are. It sounds facetious but in our defence, we love so hard and struggle so much with our insecurities that we simply use this as a way to sort through our true feelings, lighten our heavy heart and move through to acceptance and forgiveness...of others and ourselves. As partners, we get frustrated a lot but we also understand the others shortcomings once we calm our egos, and we are incredibly forgiving as a result. But along the way we go through this process of confliction about how we really feel because at light speed we are reviewing all perspectives...some real, some imagined. We are visionaries, and our ideas excite us, even give us euphoria and ecstasy.
Ps.
I love this short film...it makes me feel comforted that I am not alone, but also sad because many of my loved ones also experienced frequent feelings of disappointment in themselves. I also have hope that by raising awareness, any who are living with this "superpower" will be more accepted, but also as we become more self aware, we can draw more attention to the positive things this can mean for us. We all have potential...and reaching for that, all the while loving ourselves right where we are now, is key.
http://www.upworthy.com/a-moving-short-film-explores-what-its-really-like-to-live-with-adhd?g=2&c=ufb2
#airoliftlounge #blog #adhd #adultdisorderly #muse #perspective #facetious #adayinthelifeof
No comments:
Post a Comment