The Horse Simply Wants to Freely Be a Horse, Its Not Trying To Be a Unicorn

Still one of the most memorable nights in my life! The first and last time I ever Bouted in Roller Derby.(such an incredible sport for confidence and comradery)...and What a RUSH!!!

I am so grateful to have had the privilege of participating in what I believe to be the most elegant, strong, disciplined and dignified of sports, in my life and I love all of them fiercely!!

I am sooooo grateful for the push to be myself, for the friends and teammates Ive been blessed with along the way, the physical benefits as well as the SUPPORT from so many, your willingness to really SEE me in these athletic endeavours...because thats what its about for me, athleticism, strength and agility, training the mind and body for greatness, and trying to love and honour my body! I don't share this with anyone, but Its time I be transparent about this, and I challenge you to simply hear me and not reply to this aspect of my message because I believe in validation coming from myself only...Ive always been VERY uncomfortable with outside validation, as much as I may feel I need it sometimes, I dont believe it anyways, so its in vain...I do not believe I am good at ANYTHING. I feel skill-less, talent-less, worth-less. My mind is my worst enemy, I am my biggest critic and I am ruthless. The only time I FORGET this belief is when Im in action, dancing or jumping into the light, breathing belief into others and empowering women to see themselves as the magnificent creatures they are! Im like a wild horse, when I'm set free. Everyone appreciates the majesty of a horse( I know you do Megan) :) and others are intimated by its sheer strength, envious of its freedom. This makes it more beautiful to some, and unsightly to others who don't see the light and strength in themselves and that saddens me. For the horse simply wants to freely be a horse, its not trying to be a Unicorn.

Soooooo On the flip side to all the support I feel, I have had much adversity, even shaming that you may not be aware of. Some from friends, some from family, some from those who don't even know me. This message is for those hiding in the shadows..."You can bully me and try to take my right to share that which Im proud of AWAY from me but you cant take the sports OUT of me or stop me from moving and shining, and believe me its tempting to be a martyr! But theres too big a big part of me that feels like if I were to choose yet another sport to be passionate about, this wouldn't satisfy the hunters and I would lose it as well anyways, because isn't it true that if we really want to destroy someones spirit...there cannot be any letup? #bringingyourgunstomyheartfightwontleadtoyourvictory